It's been a little over 5 months, and I think I'm finally ready to share Will's birth story. A lot of you already know it, but I think it will help me to type it all out. I know I still have a lot of healing to do, and his birth is definitely something I will never fully get over. I find myself daily trying to remember that it didn't go as planned, but Will and I are fine and healthy. And as my doctor says: He's fine. He'll go to school. There's nothing wrong with him.
If you are not into birth stories or pregnant you might want to stop here! :) You've been warned!
During our classes at the hospital we watched many graphic videos. Matt and I talked about our "birth plan" a lot. Basically, the plan was to try to deliver vaginally with an epidural. I was no fool though, and said I would also be perfectly fine with a c-section (my mom had four). I just wanted what was best for Will and me, but mostly for Will.
I had a pretty normal pregnancy. I craved carbs (Panera asiago bagels to be exact), couldn't eat eggs after my first trimester, and had a bout with sciatica. Leading up to Will's birth, I did a lot of waiting. I went for walks, walked up a huge flight of stairs (
wishing and hoping, walking and waiting), and ate some eggplant parmesan.
Finally Saturday, November 3, I started having some contractions. Nothing special. No pattern. Later that day they started getting worse, lasting longer...still no pattern. My mom started packing to leave the next morning, because she was certain I would not make it to my due date. That night we sat around watching football games (thank goodness for football season to distract me). My contractions were getting worse, but still no pattern. Finally around 11:30 we decided to go to bed. Only one problem...my contractions were hurting really badly, lasting 5-8 minutes, and usually less than one minute in between. There was no way I could go to sleep from the pain. So Matt suggested going for a walk. We walked up and down our street for while. During contractions I would stop and Matt would hug me close. It was very cold out! Finally a pattern developed and it was time to go!
We got to the hospital early Sunday morning. I was dreading it, because I was certain I would be sent home. After we got check in and I was all hooked up my contractions started spacing out again. The nurse said they would monitor me for awhile, but if I didn't progress I would probably be sent home. Finally at 4am, they decided to keep me. I was so confused! The nurse said I wasn't in active labor, but she told my doctor I was in early labor and would be back later if sent home. My doctor told her to go ahead and admit me, because I don't normally complain so I must really be in pain. They went ahead and gave me an epidural.
As soon as the anesthesiologist tried to start the epidural I was shaking uncontrollably. I was also having trouble sitting up and leaning over, because Will was so low. The anesthesiologist was very kind and was asking me questions to try to calm me down. After the epidural, they said we would probably meet Will that afternoon after lunch. I laid back down and started to calm down. We were listening to Will on the monitor. He was cracking us up, because he started moving all around and was very loud. The nurse was keeping a close watch on the monitor and said everything was fine. Then she got a look on her face, and I immediately knew something was wrong. She started saying calm down baby. Stop playing with your cord. Then she told Matt to hit the nurse button. All of the sudden there were more people in my room. They were turning me sideways and on my head trying to get his heart rate to go back up. I knew what this meant. I looked at Matt and told him to call my mom. They tried a few things and then said they had to get him out. They started running my bed down the hallway like a scene from a movie. I remember sobbing and watching Matt the whole time. When we got to the OR they told Matt he couldn't come in because there wasn't time. I will never forget his face as long as I live. I was terrified.
When we went in the room they put me on the operating table. I couldn't stop crying. My doctor obviously didn't have time to get to the hospital so another doctor was going to deliver Will. The doctor said "God is with you". Such comforting words! They had to strap down my arms. I remember telling them that they forgot to strap one of them down. Then I felt a prick, and I said I can feel that. My epidural had not had time to kick in. The anestesiologist yelled "shit!" and came running to intubate me. Matt was outside the room on the phone with my mom, and after a few minutes he said "I hear a baby crying. I think I'm a dad!" About that same time my doctor got there.
Will was born November 4 at 5:38 am. I'm not sure how long it took me to wake up, but the first person I saw when I did was Matt. He came over to the bed and said "He's so cute! We did such a good job!". Then he filled me in on Will's stats. I couldn't believe how little he was. The nurses moved me to my room, but I had to rest more before I could see Will. It turns out a c-section under general anesthesia is pretty painful! Finally around 11:30 (six long hours after Will was born) I got to meet my baby! I was so excited! I instantly fell even more in love with him.
The weeks after were tough physically and emotionally. I was so sore from the doctor having to deliver Will so quickly. I cried a lot. I was so sad that I didn't get to hear Will's first cry, or hold him sooner, or be the first to feed him. All the while feeling guilty, because at least we were both okay. I tried desperately to remind myself that we were fine and very lucky. We were so lucky that the doctors and nurses acted so quickly. They took such good care of us.
Will is such a sweet reminder daily that God is with us.
